Being a foreigner in a Chinese city that is not Beijing or Shanghai will on occasion get you stared at. But what if you are a foreign girl with a Chinese fiancé walking through the streets of Hohhot, Autonomous Region of Inner Mongolia. We call it the “猴子 Phenomenon”, as it is a little akin  to being an ape in a zoo. Luckily, I am only subjected to this type of special attention every once in a while, living in Nanjing, a second tier and infinitely more internationalised city, while my “inofficial fiancé” currently resides in Beijing.

But now it is time for the ape to plan her Chinese wedding and sigh, laugh and cry at all the pitfalls that come with that. I will try my best to keep the ‘roses or lillies’, ‘lavender or mint’ talk to a minimum and focus instead on providing you, dear reader, with those amusing anecdotes of intercultural exchange, of East meets West, of Chinese traditionalism meets German pragmatism, that you might have been through yourself or could never even dream of having to deal with whilst planning not only one, but two weddings. And hopefully I can force my fiancé to do a couple of entries, too.

Engagement photos Nanjing

Have any questions, queries or would like to post a guest blog? Contact me at ourcnwedding(at)outlook.com. I look forward to hearing from you!


13 thoughts on “About”

  1. I came about your site while looking for “Suan Cai Yu” recipes. Since I suck at cooking, I got easily distracted and read through your posts like a creepy stalker. I forking love your sense of humor. OK, back to not talking to strangers …

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I did find my Suan Cai Yu … in a restaurant. But I have faith that one day I’ll find its recipe–and casually lose it, to find its interpretation again … in a restaurant. That’s right–lazy-ass! (me, not you; I don’t insult strangers.)

        And happy new year to you as well! No, I don’t live in CN. I live in DE (MUC), NL (AMS), and EC (UIO), schizophrenically split throughout the year–although these days I’m spending more time in EC fixing my damn leaky roof … maldito techo de mierda.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hey Stranger – sorry for the super late reply LOL hope you are doing well in EC and the leaky roof is no longer so hahahah. I’ll be flying through Munich in a couple of weeks – back home for Xmas – where are you hanging about these days?


  2. So being a Chinese American married to a white American, I visited Beijing in end of May this year. Even in Beijing we got stared at, young and old. I found it incredibly alienating and annoying after the 4th day. My wife didn’t mind as much. Does your husband mind the staring?


    1. Hi there 13th Knight! Really? I am surprised to hear that – although I reckon it also depends on where in BJ you are – was it a more touristy area by any chance? Yes, he does mind it a bit when we are in Inner Mongolia, especially because he is generall much more aware of the people around him, while I’m often just in my own little world – but we don’t get it too often simply because we arent in those kinds of places so much and in Beijing we are usually in places where few people stare


      1. Hi! Overall every place we went, among the hundreds of people men would stare at me. Old people would stare at me. My wife only got her photo taken twice and they were Tibetan monks. They don’t seem to care there’s a white girl there but they seem to stare that *I* am with her.


    2. Hey hey 13th Knight, sorry for the slow reply! How long were you in BJ for? And have you been back again? Maybe the two of you just made a super handsome couple 😉 Are you quite tall? If so, it might just have been stares of admiration!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We were in Beijing for 8 days, and we have not been back since. We have other travels we’d like to do before going back. As to why we were stared at? I would like to stroke both of our egos but I’d like to think we’re pretty normal and neither of us are particularly tall. But, thank you.


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Or The Unofficial Fiancé; A German Girl and a Chinese Guy get married

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