Long Distance 2.0


Can you believe we are already almost halfway into 2018? I certainly can’t!

This year has brought some major changes…drumroll…Mr Li has moved back to England to pursue a PhD degree, while I have stayed behind in Beijing.

Now, this isn’t the first time we’ve done long distance – we had 2 years between Nanjing and Beijing/Hohhot. I knew that moving to another continent wouldn’t be as simple as being just a 4-hour high-speed train ride apart. In the olden days, we managed to see each other at least once a month. While we have managed to meet up twice in the first 6 months of our separation, the major issue I did not take into consideration was the time difference.

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Good night, England./ Pixabay.com

When I go to sleep, he is barely done with class, whereas when I get up, he is already in dreamland. This is making video chat sessions not the easiest thing.

The other thing I’ve noticed is that probably because of that difficulty, I am finding it a lot more difficult to live apart. Maybe I am getting old, or I’m just too uncomfortable with being alone – but his move has resulted in me cramming my social calendar with lunches, and drinks, and other meetups, just because I feel like I have to. I always knew I was quite a social animal, but recently I’m almost finding it concerning how I simply cannot go two days without seeing friends.

But it’s not all terrible – the space I am getting is making me try out new things, and rediscover old passions such as – hold on to your hats because I’m about to geek out hard for a minute – puzzles. I just love doing them, and I don’t care if it makes me sound like a pensioner with a pipe, it’s just too much fun.

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Should I stay or should I go? / pixabay.com

I was really struggling especially during the early months of the year with the question of where my life should be, and whether I should just call it a day and run back to Europe. However, at the moment, objectively speaking, there are just so many more reasons to be staying where I am. And Mr Li will be back by the end of this year for a stretch, so at least that’s something.

Right now, this is just another reminder that cross-cultural relationships like ours will often take place across two different countries – the irony being that in our case we kind of mixed up the countries. I never thought I’d end up marrying a Chinese man, who’d run off to England, while I’m stuck in Beijing. For now, that is.

Have you had similar struggles? Did you dare move back home without a job in place?

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